After a six year absence from the Breatharian movement I find myself falling back again

When I was 17 I had an experience that would change me forever. Something I ate made me feel dizzy and heavy, and so I realized that what we eat affects how we feel. This was incredible, as I had been living under the same assumption as everyone else that all we need to do is to eat and keep hunger away, that what we eat does not matter, and that what ever happens to our bodies is totally unrelated and out of our control.

So I begun researching foods and quickly became vegetarian, then vegan, and looking into nutrients and health foods. During this search I came across Jasmuheen’s book Living on Light. Brief introduction to the topic was all I needed, it was as if I immediately knew what it was. I still have not read her entire book, rather, I begun writing my own understanding of what it is. Other followers of the cult became very fond of my “teachings”, they were considered among the best out there, and I became regarded as a guru within the movement.

At the age of 19 I was invited to do a lecture in Poland. Two years later, at the age of 21, I was invited back to tour all of Poland in a lecture series.

In her book, Jasmuheen describes a 21-day process, developed by her from years of study and communication with her ascended beings, to be as an accelerated process toward reaching the breatharian state. In the first week a person does not eat or drink anything. In the second week they have a minimum required amount of diluted juice or water. In the third week the drink is less diluted. I did the 21-day process and in the eighth day when I was drinking again, as I walked past a mirror I saw a bright white light around me. I looked like an Angel, and what I saw as well as what I was feeling by now, was too good. Realizing that this is what we always could have been was unbearable, to find that this is what we are and that it is forgotten. So I forced myself to eat and drink to push this away and to return to the eating, oblivious state, where what I had just discovered would no longer be remembered.

There is a lot to say about the Breatharian movement. It certainly is strange even though it all makes sense, but it is not what eating people would think. In it is a great beauty, a discovery that can not be put into words, it can only be experienced.

I then begun college and found science. More specifically I found that there was a whole science dedicated to the study of light, optical physics. I instantly fell in love, and the switch from the pseudoscientific attempt at light and to a scientific one was easy to make.

I have now had a six year absence from the movement. The book that I wrote about Breatharianism, including a careful description of how to go about, well coveted, it was never published. I disappeared from the movement, I knew that a lot of its followers were looking for me. But I was to become a scientist now, taking my love for light out of New Age and into the laboratory.

My foremost opponent, who opposes the work I do in which I am looking back at my past in woo and offering a skeptical and scientific analysis, Jim Carr, author of the stopvisionfromfeeling website, decided that I should not have the anonymity or detachment or the right to step away from the movement, and so he made very sure to connect my past with my scientific present. And ever since he did so, more and more Breatharian followers were finding me. I was at first and for the longest time dismissive, referring these people to skepticism and to the scientific method, describing how I was a skeptic now. But two things now have made me find my way back to the movement. One being that Jim Carr made sure that I be connected to it again, the other is that the skeptical movement – now that all the tests are over with – is revealing its true light.

In the beginning, the skeptical movement was quite pleasant and polite, I felt welcomed to become a fellow skeptic. Now, people I thought were friends – because they were friends – have changed. Jim Carr and I started out with friendship, we would have nice conversations and he was truly helpful with my investigations. He then turned, revealing that he was only manipulating me, trying to get me to send him topless pictures undoubtedly intended to be used against me, and pretending to be nice and vulnerable so that I would confide in him, in his attempts at revealing me as the next great harmful psychic that he imagined me being but which I never was. He even admitted to that at some point.

Mark Edward, someone I truly looked up to and trusted, because he too had made the big and important step from woo into skepticism, once I started dating a skeptic he wrote a terrible blog about how I was one of the modern woo whores trying to infiltrate and destroy skepticism from within. And later when all I said was that I had met with Dr. Shermer, renowned skeptic, to do a reading, Mark misinterpreted and called me psychic slut all over my personal Facebook page, and when I asked him to please take it back he just told me to stop “whining and moaning” and won’t talk to me anymore.

IIG Skeptics behaving very strange and dismissive around me, some outright openly rude. I won’t mention any names, but it applies to most of them.

Ridicule, insults, personal attack, libel and slander and discussions behind my back about how I need to be stopped, how my professional career needs to be ruined, how someone has to call the police to stop me from doing psychic readings that I am not even doing, talk about contacting my family and friends to tell them I am mentally ill when I am doing the most responsible thing of dissecting my woo with skepticism. I have had it.

And as one Breatharian follower after the other makes a welcoming greeting, I try to remain skeptic, I try to be harsh and even a bit rude and turn them away, like we skeptics do to the woos. But what am I doing trying to be one of the skeptics. I am not welcome, no matter how much of a scientist I am today or that I actually offered to take apart my woo. I am called a narcissist and attention seeking fat psychic slut for wanting to be one of the skeptics. It’s like trying to push oil into water. My past in woo is all they see.

And so you can not blame me for falling in love with Breatharianism all over again. I am finding that perhaps it is not woo that is wrong and harmful after all. It is filled with kind, pleasant people. I am practicing its methods again. I am beginning to write it again. Of course, my skepticism is something that will never go away. I am still a skeptic. I will still look skeptically at these things of woo, but finding, that not all woo is bad.

My investigations will continue in the same way as before. I will be just as skeptical, only that I have stepped away from the rudeness of skepticism, and by doing that I realize that Breatharianism is not all that bad, and neither am I. Why am I trying to replace Breatharianism with Skepticism, when skeptics do all they possibly could to harm me and to keep me away? I guess we all need to belong to something, to have a community with people. Skepticism doesn’t welcome me. Breatharianism does.

Nothing else changes. I will be a Breatharian, but still a Skeptic. Part of the Breatharian movement, not part of the Skeptical movement which refuses to have me. And I am still dating a renowned Skeptic. All I wanted to do, is to be a skeptic, and the woo I was investigating was my own.

Breatharianism is the pseudoscientific cult which discusses the notion that some people can learn how to live without eating or drinking, sustaining nourishment from some alternative, spiritual source. As such, it is highly controversial, and yes a few people have died from it.
Woo is a term for pseudoscientific practices and practitioners.

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